In the same way that
getting older is generally part of life, experiencing loss is also part of
life. And while getting older can be difficult, experiencing loss can be
something that is even harder to handle.
This can be put down
to the fact that aging is a slower process, which allows the pain to be spread
out. Loss, on the other hand, leads to instant pain, and this pain will be
spread out over time.
A Different Experience
There are, of course,
different types of loss, and while one type of loss might not be too painful,
another type can be. If someone was to lose a pet they might find it hard to
function for a few weeks, but if they were to lose a loved one, they might be
like this for a lot longer.
The effect that losing
a pet has on one person is then not necessarily going to be the same as the
effect it has on another. One reason that could be put forward here is that one
person will have had a closer connection with their pet than the other.
A Broken Connection
Losing a loved one can
make it hard for someone to function for a matter of months and then they might
gradually start to settle down. What took place could still be on their mind
after this, but what happened won't have made it impossible for them to handle
life in general.
For someone else, it
might not matter how many months or years pass, as they simply won't be able to
carry on with their life. While the person above will have gradually been able
to go through the gears and to get themselves moving again, this won't have
been possible for them.
One Reason
What this could show
is that one person has lost someone who was at the end of their life or who had
been ill for a while. It was then not a surprise that this person has passed
on, and this would have allowed them to prepare for the inevitable.
Unlike this person,
the other may have lost a loved one who was not at the end of their life and
neither was their health in a bad way. If this was the case, it would make
complete sense as to why these two people have experienced different reactions.
Another Reason
At the same time, what
may have played a big part in how these two people have responded to a loss is
how emotionally developed they are. One person could be emotionally together,
which will have enabled them to handle what took place.
For the other, they
might not have been in a good place to begin with, meaning that they may have
been emotionally troubled before they experienced loss. What took place would
then have added even more pain to an inner world that was already in a bad way.
Another Factor
Then again, the reason
why the former was able to move forward so quickly may have been a sign that
they simply pushed their feelings out of their point of awareness. It might
then be inaccurate to say that they have a healthy relationship with their
emotions.
The fact that the latter
hasn't been able to readjust to their life after a few months can then be seen
as a sign that they do have a healthy relationship with their emotions. This is
why they are not trying to cover up how they feel, creating the impression that
their life is more or less back to how it was.
Closer to Home
When someone loses a
parent, the experience of loss can have a different impact on them. However,
even though this is the case, the scenarios above can still apply to this type
of loss.
What this means, then,
is that someone might have known that it was only a matter of time before this
took place and this allowed them to mentally prepare, making it easier for them
to come to terms with the loss. Or, someone might not have expected this to
happen, making it incredibly difficult for them to handle what has taken place.
The Connection
The type of
relationship that they had with this parent can also play a part in how they
feel. If they had a close bond with them, it is naturally going to be harder
for them to handle what has taken place.
Likewise, if this
wasn't the case and one didn't have a close connection with them, it might make
it easier for them to handle the loss. What this shows it that there are so
many factors involved.
Early Trauma
Yet, even if someone
didn't have a close connection with their parent who has passed on, it doesn't
necessarily mean that this will make it easier for them to handle. The loss of
one of their parents can end up triggering wounds from their childhood years.
For example, as this
person is no longer around, they may end up going into survival mode. So,
regardless of whether the loss has resulted in them feeling unsafe and/or to be
excessively preoccupied with how they are going to support themselves, it is likely
to show that something has been triggered from their early years.
Shaken To the Core
One is then not just
going to have heavy heart after; they will have a body that is anything but
calm. Still, this doesn't mean that they were dependent on this parent for
anything before, though.
Nonetheless, due to
the trauma that has stayed in their body from their early years, now that this
parent is no longer around it has come up to the surface. This illustrates that
what took take place during someone's early years can have a big impact how
they respond to life events as an adult.
Awareness
If someone has lost a
parent, and they can see that there is more to how they feel than what has
recently taken place, they may need to reach out for external support. This is
something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
Teacher, prolific
writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His
insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation,
including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two
thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver
offers hope along with his sound advice.
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Article Source: Oliver_JR_Cooper
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