Looking back over my
life I honestly can say, giving it a great deal of thought, the biggest problem
I have is when I actually think. Thinking can get me into more trouble than
anything else I do.
This was no more
evident than recently we got a phone call from the bank. I hate it when the
bank calls because they never call to wish me happy birthday or wonder how in
the world I am doing today. They always have an agenda. Usually, that agenda
has to do with my money.
When I answered the
phone all I could say was, "Here we go again."
Much to my relief it
was not about my account, but rather it was the bank account of the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage. I cannot tell you the smile that slapped itself all
over my face when I heard this.
Immediately I called
my wife to the phone and said, "It's your bank calling you about your
account." Smilingly I handed the phone to her.
For years, we have had
separate accounts and it has worked out rather well. I remember when we first
were married we had a joint account and it was always getting messed up. We had
two checkbooks for the same account, which did not make any sense at all.
Everything was messed up and checks bounced all over the place.
To solve this dilemma
we decided to have our own checking account in separate banks. I am not quite
sure about her account, but the checks keep bouncing in my account and I am not
exactly sure why.
The bank was calling
my wife because there had been a suspicious activity on her account. I thought about
telling them that other activity on her bank account was also suspicious, but
sometimes I know when not to speak.
According to the bank,
my wife bought a package of wine costing $600 and they were wondering if she
was buying it for the church communion service. I heard my wife laugh and
figured out there is something going on. We do not use wine in our communion
service, we use grape juice. However, the bank did not know why my wife was
buying wine.
The only wine in our
house is me, who whines all the time and believe me, according to my wife, my
whining is very intoxicating. At least to her it is.
We finally had to go
down to the bank and try to sort this mess out. My wife tried to tell them that
she did not make such a purchase.
I would like to tell you
how delighted I was to go to the bank with her and see her in a dilemma that I
did not create. I know I create a lot of dilemma in our home. The fact that we
been married as long as we have been married says a lot for her tolerance of
whiny old people like me.
"We did not
think," the bank manager said to my wife, "that you were buying wine
like this. We thought perhaps you might have been buying wine for the church
communion service."
All three of us
laughed a very hearty laugh because she knew we did not use wine in our
communion service.
However, the truth of
the matter was, there was this activity on her account in the amount of $600.
My surprise was that she had that much money in her account. I scratched my
head a bit and thought, where did she get all that money? Immediately I had to
unthought that and get back to the basics of our visit here in the bank.
The bank manager got
out all of the paperwork with this transaction.
The first thing of
note was that it took place in a liquor store in Southern California where my
wife had never been.
My wife looked at me
and said sarcastically, "Why are you smiling?"
I thought about
telling her, but then I unthought that and got back to the details of the
transaction.
In looking at that
transaction, the bank manager happened to notice that it was on a particular
Sunday when it took place. That Sunday my wife was in church. In fact, the time
of the transaction was when my wife was playing the organ.
"Can you verify
that she was playing the organ at that time?" The bank manager asked me.
A thought that came
into my mind was to tell the bank manager that my wife was so talented that she
could be in two places at the same time. After further thought on that, I
unthought that idea.
The bank manager
finally took care of that transaction and we were able to leave the bank
knowing us, or rather she, was free from that transaction. I did not say
anything on the way home, but I was smiling on the inside.
Thinking can be a very
hazardous occupation, but I was reminded what Paul said. "Finally,
brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever
things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be
any praise, think on these things" (Philippians 4:8).
I am trying to learn
to think about important things and not things that are negative and damaging.
Since 1997, Rev. James
L. Snyder has written a weekly religion/humor column, "Out To
Pastor," syndicated to over 300 newspapers and many websites. The Rev.
Snyder is an award winning author whose writings have appeared in more than
eighty periodicals including GUIDEPOSTS. In Pursuit of God: The Life of A. W.
Tozer, Snyder's first book, won the Reader's Choice Award in 1992 by
Christianity Today. Snyder has authored and edited 30 books altogether.
James L. Snyder was
given an honorary doctorate degree (Doctor of Letters) by Trinity College in
Florida. His weekly humor column, "Out To Pastor," is syndicated to
more than 325 weekly newspapers.
Through 45 years of
ministry, he and his wife Martha have been involved in three church-planting
projects prior to their current ministry at the Family of God Fellowship in
Ocala, Florida. The Snyders have three children and nine grandchildren and one
great-grandson.
Article Source: James_Snyder
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