I was at a party when my waters broke with my second
child. I was 22 weeks pregnant and it was the tiniest dab. But I just knew
something wasn’t right.
It wasn’t the first time it had happened – my waters had
broken at 34 weeks with my son, Samuel, so I guess that’s what got my mind
whirring. It was 26 November at this point, and my daughter Cordelia wasn’t due
until March. I was shocked, of course, but it never crossed my mind on the way
to the hospital that it would be anything serious.
Soon after I’d arrived, I was proven very wrong. They
confirmed my waters had broken and I was told it was very likely my daughter
wasn’t going to make it – a baby can’t survive at 22 weeks. I was heartbroken.
Despite the pain I felt, my emotions were split: I was
devastated this had even happened, but I was so determined to have my baby
healthy – ferociously determined. I wasn’t going to listen to anyone telling me
she wouldn’t survive. I could hear her heartbeat.
KATHLEENBROOKS
Kathleen and her daughter Cordelia
That day, I decided to go to another maternity unit to
get a second opinion, because I’d heard good things about them. They were more
positive but the next day when I lost more fluid, they told me there was only a
5% chance my baby would be born alive.
I went on bed rest for six weeks. Six whole weeks to keep
my daughter safely inside me. For the first two – which happened to be over
Christmas – I was in and out of hospital every two days for blood tests and
scans. All the while, my baby was oblivious and seemed to be growing as if
nothing else was happening.
Bed rest wasn’t what I was expecting for my second
pregnancy, but I got stuck in. My parents helped my husband with the care of my
two-year-old Samuel. We were lucky and well-supported, way more than a lot of
people would be. And I genuinely didn’t have to do anything. I remember getting
to a point where I thought: I can do everything in my power this end, but my
daughter is the one who will decide whether she wants to live.
Every week it got better. Every day we were one day
further along – 24 weeks was a big milestone for us and at 27 weeks I sat there
and thought: I think we’re going to be okay, you know?
I was always told if I got sick or if there wasn’t enough
fluid surrounding my baby, they’d have to induce me. And at 28 weeks this
happened.
In some ways, it was my dream scenario – a lot of people
thought she wouldn’t make it, so we were happy we had got to this point. I
remember the midwife telling me “the furthest along you can dream of getting is
28 weeks” – and I was 28 weeks and one day when I was induced.
The birth itself went as well as it could’ve gone. I’ll
be honest, I was worried about having a baby naturally, having had a long time
to read up about being a preemie mum. It was just my belief that I should have
a C-section. It was a really nice atmosphere, everyone knew my baby was going
to be sick so a special effort was made.
From the minute we were told they were going to induce,
everyone was on it – the best of the doctors, consultants and the whole works
were in with me. We were so well taken care of. My god, there were so many
people in the room – neonatal teams running in and out, loads of anaethetists,
students.
Cordelia cried when she came out, a tiny, high-pitched
cry, and she breathed on her own initially – but it wasn’t that simple. She
deteriorated, as they expected, and ended up going to intensive care straight
away. I saw my daughter for the first time an hour after she was born. I was
out of it on morphine just to get me over there – I knew she was sick but I
felt relief. And after five days, I was able to hold her.
She had to be put on a ventilator to help to help her
breathe for two weeks. But after three weeks she seemed to turn a corner, and
from there she just got stronger and stronger. Cordelia stayed in hospital for
10 weeks, coming out before her due date which I was so happy about. She’s just
turned one.
Doctors seem to think it was my immune system that caused
my waters to break early. But those few months which were so taxing for us
don’t seem to have had any impact on Cordelia. She’s standing up, crawling
around. She’s amazing.
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